i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
