i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
