using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
