Pregnant stripper...not hot.
wanna go halves on a baby?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
