is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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