You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
