Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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