Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
