I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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