They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
