i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
