Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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