it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
