Porn is love you can see.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
