bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
