Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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