Banned from zoo.
Again?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
no you cant smoke seaweed
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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