The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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