All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
