I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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