so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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