just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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