u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
