She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
