Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
