I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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