the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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