I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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