Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
