The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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