honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Oh god it's open bar.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
