when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
