Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
