you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
