I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
