Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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