i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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