I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
