So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
