Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
