I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
