it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
