i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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