Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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