Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
