garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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