You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
