Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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