sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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