the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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