My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
